to work with energy, colour, light, sound, crystals, and more to heal, enlighten, and expand our consciousness. The mind and soul act as doorways to our higher self, which is all-knowing, all-loving, and perpetually evolving. (Thanks, Jan Dayton, for that wisdom!)
Undoing
Undoing is a conscious act of making amends—a heartfelt attempt to seek forgiveness and set things right. However, for some, it can slip into the realm of the unconscious. Take, for example, an alcoholic father who spends the year inflicting pain and chaos on his family but then throws an extravagant Christmas feast, complete with presents. He believes he’s making amends, but the kids, having lived through the storm, see right through the facade. When he inevitably falls back into his old ways, he shifts the blame onto his family.
Sometimes, undoing takes on a more magical flair. Imagine a young boy reciting the alphabet backward to ward off shame after an inappropriate thought. It's a quirky little ritual that feels like a shield against the unseen darkness lurking in the unconscious.
Sublimation
Sublimation is all about channelling those pesky negative urges into something socially acceptable. Someone brimming with hostility or passion might become a footballer, a butcher, or even an F1 racer—basically finding a healthy outlet for that energy. Anxiety in a confusing world? That could lead someone to become a meticulous scientist or an organisational wizard, bringing order to chaos.
Creative types, like artists, dancers, or novelists, might wrestle with intense desires, but they find release through their craft. Freud saw all creative endeavours as sublimations of our base instincts, particularly our sexual drives. He pointed out that we often deceive ourselves about our motives, and that self-awareness could help us make better choices in our complex emotional landscapes.
Openness to Experience
Openness to experience is the antithesis of defensiveness. It’s about accurately perceiving and accepting your feelings and reality as they are. This can be tricky because feelings carry significant weight; they help us gauge our true selves. If we can’t embrace our feelings, we miss out on actualizing our potential. The challenge lies in distinguishing genuine feelings from those pesky anxieties brought on by external expectations. (Thanks, Carl Rogers, for this insight!)
Tools for Transformation
Meditation: A gentle way to revisit past issues. It allows clients to engage with memories without external influence, gaining clarity and perspective. Plus, it helps visualise a future you truly desire.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques): Tapping into the natural rhythms of your soul, using affirmations to build self-confidence and self-worth. It can even help reduce the need for ritual, which is great for those with OCD—though proceed with caution!
Soul Plan: This visual tool helps clients identify their beliefs, illustrating that they hold the reins of their own soul. It clarifies where change is possible.
Life Quality Upgrade Procedure: This systematic plan incorporates the above tools, providing a sense of security and control as change unfolds.
By combining multiple tools in a way that feels manageable, clients can take charge of their emotional energies and begin to understand the conflicts within them. Fears about the past, present, and future can be safely examined. EFT not only offers positive affirmations but also brings a sense of calm, allowing clients to face their experiences with newfound confidence.
Embracing Our Journey
Carl Rogers posited that the organism ( Us, our human bodies) has a fundamental drive to actualize, maintain, and enhance itself. It’s an interesting point—our development often feels like a wild ride, especially when that compliant child suddenly sprouts a personality that could rival a storm!
This journey towards autonomy involves facing the often-painful realities of independence in thought and emotion.
To truly meet myself, I had to make some tough choices. It’s funny how sometimes pain feels easier than just coasting through life. But only when I explored my options and understood who I am could I confront the destruction I might cause. I knew I had another life to live, and frankly, I had waited long enough!
Liz Wilde
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