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Writer's pictureLiz Wilde LizW

"The Power of Loss: Reclaiming Yourself in Life’s Chaos"







When we talk about loss, most people’s minds head straight for Death—like it’s the only move Life's got. But Death’s more like an actor with a killer wardrobe department. There’s the death of a loved one, sure, but there’s also the death of a relationship, the death of momentum, and my personal favourite: the death of Ourselves. Now, before you start clutching your pearls in some Shakespearean tragedy, let’s dial it back. This isn’t about actual dying; it’s about that gut-punch realisation that somehow, in the middle of life’s chaos, you’ve lost you—like a kid lost in a crowd, except this crowd is made up of society’s rules, expectations, and an unhealthy obsession with getting approval from everyone else.


And let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. One day, you wake up and realise your life is like living in a house you didn’t decorate—every room filled with furniture someone else picked out. Does it feel like home? Nope. But you’ve been sitting in it so long, you’ve forgotten what “home” even feels like. That’s the real death of the self—being alive, but not really living. Yeah, I know, dramatic, but sometimes the truth is a bit of a diva.


As we grow, we pick up beliefs and habits like we’re grabbing freebies at a carnival. We learn how adults behave, how we’re supposed to be loved, and how to manage friendships—whether that means being the peacekeeper or the drama queen. And when a friendship dies? Oof. That hits harder than sending a text to the wrong person, especially when that person’s your boss. But the way we handle those little deaths shapes us. Some of us learn to talk it out, others make chaos their sidekick and start swinging. Diplomacy or disaster—it’s anyone’s guess.


We like to think we’re the architects of our own values, but let’s face it—half the time we’re walking around in outfits picked out by someone else: parents, teachers, lovers. Sometimes it fits, sometimes it feels like that itchy sweater your grandma insisted “looked good on you.” You wore it anyway because, well, someone else said you should.


But eventually, we start to wake up. We look in the mirror and ask, “Who even am I?” And when you start pulling at those threads, things get interesting. It’s like realising you’ve been wearing someone else’s shoes and wondering why they’ve been giving you blisters. When we’re not guided properly, our inner world becomes this emotional tornado—gathering strength with every insecurity and negative thought we’ve been dragging around. Before you know it, that whirlwind is tearing through your life like you’re in your own personal version of The Wizard of Oz.


Now, let’s throw some spirituality into the mix. Think of your body as a car—functional, necessary, and one day, destined to break down. But what we tend to ignore are the passengers in the backseat: your mind and your soul. They don’t conk out when your body does. Problem is, we often forget they’re even there until life tosses us into the deep end and we start flailing, trying to figure out where we left the spiritual life jacket. Here’s a tip: maybe start letting them take the wheel a little more often.


And while we’re at it, let’s talk about approval. People run around collecting validation from others like it’s some kind of life fuel. But here’s a truth bomb for you: A lion doesn’t need the approval of sheep. So why are we wasting time worrying about what other people think? Half of them don’t even know us, let alone see us. The approval we should be after? That’s the one we give ourselves. Think about it—do we really need someone else to hand us permission to live our lives? Do we need their blessing to step into who we are? Spoiler: we don’t.


What we do need is to recognize who we are—without waiting for someone else to co-sign our identity. You don’t need applause from people who aren’t even paying attention to your performance. The real standing ovation? That’s the one you give yourself. That’s what will light up your soul and grow your spirit, not someone else’s approval.


We’re living in a world that’s constantly in flux. Empathy feels like it’s gone on vacation, and tolerance is on a tight leash. Everyone’s acceptance of you seems to depend on their opinion of who they think you should be. But where are you in all of this? You’re right here, in this moment, in this space, and that’s where the magic happens.


Here’s the punchline—and the power—you’ve got to have faith in your own ability to rewrite the story. Life isn’t static, and neither are you. Yes, the world’s going to keep shifting, but so will you, and that’s where your strength lies. You can navigate the losses, the whirlwinds, and the Deaths of everything from relationships to your own sense of self—and come out the other side. Stronger, sharper, and if we’re lucky, a little funnier for having survived it.


So stop waiting for approval from people who wouldn’t know your soul if it sent them a friend request. Sometimes loss isn’t a bad thing—it’s just clearing out the clutter. Trust yourself to sift through the noise and step into who you really are, without waiting for someone else to give you the green light. Spoiler: You already have the keys.


Liz Wilde

Embrace Your Power





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